“I couldn’t afford therapy, so I just watched ‘Frasier.’ Season 4 was a breakthrough.” – Cristela Alonzo
I’ve been working with my therapist on and off for 13 years. She pulled me out of a few really dark stretches and has guided me to new states of consciousness that I would not have reached without her.
She’s arguably the most important female figure in my life when I consider the amount of time we’ve spent together and the depth of our conversations. I, unfortunately, lost my mom when I was 10-years old. Otherwise, I’d be able to say this about her.
Yet I’ve come to learn that one of the gifts that my mom gave me was the gift of grief. Had I not lost my mom and endured the tumultuous years preceding her death, I would have never had the depression and panic attacks that led me to seek help — that led me to my therapist.
And by leading me to my therapist, I’ve found freedom and peace that can only come from deep self-examination.
Thank you, mom, for that gift.
And thank you to my therapist for being my co-pilot along the journey of awakening and self-transformation.
Thank you for helping me see that even the darkest moments in life have a duality to them — that with the dark comes the light. You can’t have one without the other. I see that now.
I see that my mom made an irreversible sacrifice in service of teaching me the ultimate lesson in life — that the root of happiness begins in suffering.
As you can tell, I’m a fan of therapy :D
I’m one of the lucky few that stumbled into a fantastic therapist in the early stages of my journey.
Most are not as lucky as I am. Finding a great therapist isn’t easy. It’s hard to know what to look for. What are the types of therapy? What is most appropriate for my needs? What expertise should I look for? What are the indicators of a good therapist versus a bad therapist?
In this post, I’ll provide a clear framework for sorting through the masses to find the therapist that is best suited for your particular needs so that you too may end up with the sort of enduring patient-therapist relationship that I’ve benefited from so greatly.
It includes information gathered from other expert psychotherapists as well as from discussions I had with over 20 people that currently or recently worked with a therapist. And, I’ve even provided a questionnaire that you can use to interview potential therapists. Let’s get into it…
The Four Pillar Framework
To select a therapist, I’ve learned that there are four common variables to consider. The professional you choose is the product of these variables.
Style x Format x Feasibility x Connection
Style refers to the formal methodology that is the core of their therapeutic approach.
The Format is the setting in which the work takes place.
Feasibility is a measure of what’s accessible or affordable.
Connection is about the feelings of trust and safety.
These four variables are the basic components that inform a patient’s selection criteria. Some seekers of a therapist may place more emphasis on one variable than another (e.g., finding the lowest-cost provider). Nonetheless, these four variables are almost always considered when making a choice about which professional to work with.
Styles of Therapy
There are many different approaches to therapy. Dozens of them. However, there are a few that are the most common and are considered the leading theoretical frameworks for treating mental health conditions.
I won’t go into the long-tail of therapy types. They are based on less evidence, there are fewer practitioners so it makes finding a professional difficult, and it will add unnecessary complexity to an already complex subject. But if you’re curious about all of the flavors of therapy, take a look here.
Based on a survey from the American Psychological Association, I found a breakdown of the styles that therapists commonly use.
The “Big 3” of Cognitive, Psychoanalytic (sometimes referred to as psychodynamic), and Behavioral represent about 70% of therapeutic styles. The 22% that reported “Eclectic” are using a combination of these methods so it’s safe to say that about 90% of practitioners use at least one of the three most common styles.
Psychoanalytic therapy is a long-term approach that’s based on understanding the unconscious mental processes that influence a person’s thoughts, actions, and feelings.
It’s common for the approach to focus on early childhood experiences and how a patient’s lived experiences shaped their mood and behaviors.
As this research points out, “Although basic sensation and perception systems are fully developed by the time children reach kindergarten age, other systems such as those involved in memory, decision making, and emotion continue to develop well into childhood. The foundations of many of these abilities, however, are constructed during the early years.” It makes sense for therapy to commonly involve an analysis of a patient’s childhood experiences as part of understanding their psychological challenges given the fact that the brain is still developing during the most important formative years.
It typically requires years of commitment and can therefore be one of the most expensive and intensive methods.
However, it can be powerful when it comes to surfacing a patient’s unconscious thought patterns, leading to greater self-awareness, relief from symptoms, and equipping the patient with tools that allow them to gain better control over their own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
Research suggests many people continue to improve after they complete psychoanalytic therapy, and it can be used for a broad range of mental health conditions.
It’s no surprise that this is the case since psychoanalytic therapy can equip a patient with a deep awareness of their unconscious patterns of behavior, which gives the patient the ability to consciously shape new patterns of behavior that lead to measurable increases in well-being over the long run.
Cognitive therapy is a relatively short-term approach that’s focused on how a patient is thinking, behaving, and communicating today, with less emphasis on early life experiences when compared to psychoanalytic therapy.
The therapist assists the patient in identifying specific distortions and biases in thinking and provides guidance on how to change this thinking. It’s something I’ve turned to often for the day-to-day management of my own self-limiting thoughts and beliefs.
It’s often described as actionable, practical, rational, and helps the patient gain independent effectiveness in managing their own emotions and behaviors.
For example, a patient might keep track of negative thoughts in a journal and apply the techniques they learn in therapy to change their response and behaviors stemming from the negative thoughts.
Behavioral therapy is a broad term for types of therapy that looks to identify and help change potentially self-destructive or unhealthy behaviors. It’s based on the idea that all behaviors are learned and can therefore be unlearned and changed in healthier ways for the patient.
Like Cognitive therapy, the focus of treatment is often on current problems and how to change them. There is less emphasis on past experiences relative to psychoanalytic therapy but it can be similarly used for a broad range of mental health conditions.
Integration of Treatment Styles
As the above pie chart shows, many therapists use a blended approach that is customized to meet the patient’s needs. That’s what most seekers should look for i.e., a therapist that will tailor the approach to the patient’s particular needs.
Further research shows that it’s common for psychotherapists to choose one style and apply it flexibly. An increasing number of psychotherapists do not prefer to identify themselves completely within a single approach but prefer to define themselves as integrative or eclectic (Feixas and Botella, 2004).
Additionally, in a large survey of over 1000 psychotherapists, only 15% indicated that they used only one therapeutic style in their practice, and the median number of styles used was four.
I like to think of the three styles as the combination of treating one’s thoughts (cognitive), behaviors (behavioral), and conditioning based on past experiences (psychoanalytic).
Most therapists choose an integrated approach since most patients’ mental health challenges are integrated. In other words, it’s common for a patient to present self-limiting thoughts AND behaviors due to prior life experiences that played a role in conditioning the self-limiting thoughts and behaviors.
That’s certainly been the case for me and the treatment that I’ve undergone. My self-limiting thoughts and behaviors required a psychoanalytic approach to understand how my early life experiences shaped my thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Had I not incorporated all three approaches, my healing would have been limited.
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Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is the most commonly practiced therapeutic style in the world. It is considered the gold standard within the industry. As far as I’m aware, it is the only style that has statistical proof for clinical outcomes for patients. And, not surprisingly, it melds together multiple styles into a single, integrated approach.
I like to compare it to the sport of mixed martial arts (MMA). Prior to the UFC going mainstream, you would have martial artists from around the world claiming that “my kung fu is better than yours.”
Instead of debating which martial art style was better than the other, the UFC tossed fighters into the cage from all backgrounds and all combat styles. In the end, the best fighters were those that blended multiple martial arts styles into a single fighting system, which we now know as mixed martial arts.
In my mind, CBT is the mixed martial arts of the therapy world. It combines multiple styles into one system with clinical proof of its potency.
Katie Morton, LMFT does a great job of explaining the common therapy styles in this Youtube video with an opener about what CBT is and how it works.
The format of therapy is the 2nd pillar in my four-pillar framework for choosing a therapist.
Individual – This is the most common type. It’s one-on-one between you and a licensed professional. It takes place on a regular basis with patients commonly committing to at least one session every 1-2 weeks.
Couples – This is another common type. It’s between a couple and a licensed professional with a focus on helping the couple resolve their relationship issues.
Family – Family therapy allows families to work on their issues in a safe and neutral environment. Areas of focus can be broad and may include a focus on improving communication skills, resolving conflict, and a variety of other issues such as how to handle substance abuse occurring within the family.
Group – Group therapy is a wonderful option for people looking to connect with others facing similar mental health or behavioral health challenges such as addiction recovery and recovery from acute trauma/abuse. It’s very effective for people who are looking to develop a support group of like-minded people as part of their healing process. I’ve participated in several group therapy sessions and consider them instrumental (along with individual therapy).
Life Events – This form of therapy is for people going through or anticipating a significant life event such as the loss of a loved one, divorce, infertility, or other chronic or serious medical conditions. If you’re having trouble dealing with, accepting, or healing from specific life events, this form of therapy is for you.
The third dimension of therapist selection comes down to practicality. Unfortunately, the outlook is grim.
Therapy can be expensive. We are short on qualified therapists to meet demand. Many therapists don’t accept insurance since insurance companies are a nightmare to work with. And the therapists that are currently practicing are often booked solid.
That means there is a supply and demand imbalance with our supply of quality, affordable mental health professionals lacking the growing demand from an increasingly sick population.
Cost - The average cost of psychotherapy in the U.S. ranges from $100 to $200 per session (depending on the state), according to a 2019 report by SimplePractice. It’s easy for the cost to be north of $250/hr in major metros like LA, SF, and NYC.
In-Network or Out-of-Network – The first choice is to pursue a therapist that is within your healthcare network. However, that is becoming more difficult over time. According to a recent study, eighteen percent of individuals who used a mental health provider reported at least 1 contact with an out-of-network mental health provider, compared to 6.8% who used a general health provider.
Insurance or No Insurance – Unfortunately, having health insurance doesn’t guarantee you won’t need to pay upfront for therapy. Unlike a $10 to $30 insurance copay, many therapists will charge $100 or more per session.
Accessibility - Thankfully, this is where the technology sector is stepping in to help bridge the accessibility and affordability gap when it comes to mental health services. The clinical staff at www.verywellmind.com have done a great job of summarizing some of the best online mental health providers. Forbes has also provided a quality list of online services.
Of the four pillars in this framework, this one is essential to establish a long-term connection with a therapist. In the event that accessibility (i.e., cost) isn’t a concern, patients will emphasize connection over everything else since we want to feel safe with the therapist we’re working with.
That’s an essential point since healing only happens when we feel safe.
If we don’t feel safe around the person we are with, it’s highly unlikely that healing will occur.
We see this commonly with rescue animals. They’re often shut down until they feel safe. But once they realize they are safe that’s when we see them blossom. Without an owner that makes them feel safe, they’ll remain stuck in a traumatized state.
To this end, you want a therapist that opens up enough that you get the sense they genuinely care about you. However, you don’t want a therapist that opens up too much, leading to a relationship that is more akin to a friend than a trusted professional. If the therapist is too open, leading to a relationship that feels casual, it threatens the efficacy of the therapeutic process. But if the therapist doesn’t open up at all on a personal basis, it can feel like a robotic, clinical process. For some, that doesn’t equate to safety.
Gender may also play a role in the connection. For example, it was a good thing that I worked with a female therapist because I needed a healthy female role model in my life. My mom passed away when I was young and our relationship was tumultuous due to her mental health issues, leaving me without a positive female influence at an early age. Obviously, I didn’t want to go through life unable to bond with 50% of the human population. To work through that, it was deeply beneficial that I learned to bond with a woman in a clinical setting. On the flip side, it may be debilitating to work with a therapist from the opposite sex if a patient has prior sexual trauma from the opposite sex.
You may also want to work with a therapist that has worked closely with many other patients “like you.” For example, Dr. Michael Freeman is an expert in working with entrepreneurs. He is an entrepreneur and former CEO who has 10,000+ hours working with other entrepreneurs as a psychologist and psychiatrist. If you’re an entrepreneur, you’ll get each other. The ability to instantly connect on a commonality can grease the wheel for an open and trusting relationship.
10 signs that you have a good therapist
I spent a few weeks talking to 20+ people that use a therapist. I also reviewed suggestions from highly trained professionals and have incorporated them into this list of signs that you have a good therapist.
They don’t bring any of their own bullshit into the relationship. A good therapist is one that is able to leave their personal issues at the door and not introduce personal bias into the relationship.
They communicate clearly and attempt to communicate with you on the level you’re responsive. For example, if you’re hyper-rational and find that understanding the academic literature is helpful, but then your therapist speaks at a highly mystical level (what is sometimes referred to as “woo woo”), then you are unlikely to connect. Good therapists know how to speak to you at the level you’re at.
They are oriented towards creating a strategy and plan for you to heal. If there is no plan, what are you aiming for?
A good therapist is one that is willing to challenge a client in a helpful manner, at the right time. If they don’t challenge you at all and go along with whatever you say, that’s not very beneficial.
Sometimes, therapeutic conversations can be wide-ranging and take many tangents. Good therapists are skilled at returning to the original topic of discussion during the session.
It’s also important that your therapist is intellectually curious and continues to expand their knowledge and skills. For example, if a therapist has zero knowledge of emerging modalities that have started to enter the mainstream conversation, that’s a bad sign. Good therapists can introduce you to credible methods that aren’t broadly known.
A good therapist is also someone that reads the research literature and is capable of understanding both the art and science of treating the human condition. If the counselor encounters a new situation and pursues the relevant academic training or literature to study it, that’s a good sign.
Great therapists also know when to shut up. It’s best to find a therapist that is ok with an uncomfortable silence. It’s not necessary to fill empty space with words. Sometimes, the best response is silence.
A good therapist is one that promotes patient independence. They want to equip the client with the tools and information they need to be able to independently manage their own mental health. Great therapists know when it is time to promote independence.
Sometimes, it is hard to express what you’re experiencing or feeling as a client. A good therapist is one that can chime in at the right time and offer the words that help a client understand their situation better. Good therapists act as a clarifying agents and help you reach “Aha!” moments by occasionally finding the words and insights for you.
10 signs that you have a bad therapist
Similarly, I’ve compiled a list of the top 10 signs you have a bad therapist based on conversations with other patients and with mental health professionals.
They have a dogmatic loyalty to one treatment modality, especially if that modality isn’t widely considered to have clinical efficacy based on rigorous research. The inverse of this is also true. If the therapist is unwilling to even consider new approaches, research, and modalities then that person is dogmatically focused on the one thing that they know.
They make you feel like you have to prove something. They don’t believe you when you say you’re struggling with something and you find yourself frustrated by their skepticism.
They don’t remember anything from prior conversations. It makes you feel like they aren’t listening. If they don’t remember you or your situation, how can they help you understand the issues you face and develop a strategy for resolving them?
If the therapist “weaponizes” a diagnosis. For example, using a diagnosis to “punish” a client in a sense or make them feel highly stigmatized. Another example of this would be “stacking” diagnoses where a therapist too easily applies multiple diagnoses without proper investigation.
The therapist doesn’t set healthy boundaries (e.g., they allow you to contact them at all times of day). That can lead to an over-dependence on the therapist. The goal of therapy is to equip you with the tools and resources you need to manage your own life with minimal interventions. The goal isn’t to have a crutch that you must always lean on.
Related to #3, it’s a bad sign if too much of the meeting is occupied with social time or small talk. If the therapist acts like you’re friends, you may have a session that feels more like friends catching up than one where clinical work is being done.
The therapist talks about themselves a lot. You’re there to work on your issues, not to hear a 10-minute rambling story about that one time your therapist went to Antarctica and saw penguins.
They are not being clear about their licensure status. If they say something like “Well, it’s a long story…” or “Technically I do…. But”. If you don’t get a direct answer on their training and license status, run for the hills.
Falsely claiming doctoral-level competence by using one not related to counseling. For example, if they call themselves a doctor but they have a doctorate in higher education or sociology, that’s not the same as a doctorate specific to clinical psychology.
If they suggest or engage in a friendship or a romantic/sexual relationship with a client. That’s not only unethical, but it is also illegal in many places.
Advice from peers
Here’s a summary of the insights and direct quotes based on the feedback I received chatting with others that currently or previously worked with a therapist.
“I want a therapist that will draw from a small toolkit of approaches. They can’t be dogmatic about a single approach. Especially when my circumstances change. If they keep trying to fit one approach to all of my issues/situations, that’s a problem.”
“Deep and curious listeners - it's clear they not only listen to what you're saying but synthesize the themes and recall patterns over time and ask good questions that help round out the full picture of what you're working on and get you to see yourself and the world in new ways.”
“Get me into my feelings vs letting me get caught up in "what happened" - for people (like me) who tend to repress emotions/feelings and go into problem-solving mode, challenge me to focus more on how I was feeling in a moment and sit with that, and then support me through the problem solving from the new angle with my feelings magnified”
“Insightful- unlocked "aha" moments for me where I saw myself or the world differently, literally feeling a weight lighten in my stress centers because something made more sense that I couldn't unlock on my own – balancing both challenges and support.”
“The therapist should have a well-defined theory behind what they do. Ideally, they should also be staying up to date on the latest applied research and adding new ideas to their toolkit.”
“Finding a therapist is like dating. You need to spend 1-2 sessions before even realizing the person is a good match or not. One metric that helped me was to do some research on their scientific background and read their peer-reviewed publications. It is important that your therapist understands complex psychological terms and breaks them down to simple concepts for you to understand.”
“When searching for therapists to meet with, I choose therapists that have an online bio/website that gives a good "vibe." For example, my current therapist had a website where she discusses her philosophy around therapy and showcases her pottery work. She felt like a holistic person-- not just a professional, but someone with a life, interests, etc.”
“I am looking for someone who has strategies both long-term and short-term to alleviate the pains I have. For me, a therapist's role is not only to listen to my problems but also bettering my life. Also, I am looking for someone who asks questions that surprise me and maybe even sometimes challenge me in a different way than before. And sometimes, someone who is not scared to piss me off.”
“I know i need someone who can call bullshit on me and is smart enough to 'keep up' (a subjective feeling) - otherwise it's too easy for me to be performative, tell stories that don’t get deep enough.”
“A top-notch therapist is someone that can help generate dramatic shifts in perspective- sometimes painful, sometimes blissful but always uncovering a blindspot/insistence/resistance/limiting belief that I didn't know I had.”
“I find it important that the therapist be open to learning about other cultural backgrounds since the messages and expectations are given to me by my culture play an important role in how I feel. Without them understanding my culture, it’s hard for me to get very far with a therapist.”
“If I feel safe with them to let down all my guards, there will be a chance for growth. This can come about by them being fully present for me and instead of just giving me advice, guiding me as I process unresolved feelings and traumas.”
“Addicts are masters of avoidance and being untruthful. A good therapist can sniff this out and get right to the root of things. They keep it real, but gently enough that you begin to understand your patterns.”
“Understanding how you learn best and how you like to be supported is important. There are several therapy models and practices, some more passive, some more active, and then some in-between. Knowing this will also help you know if you are finding the right fit for a therapist.”
“Gut reaction to how you feel when you are in the session with the therapist. Do you feel trusting toward this person? Do you feel they are open and curious about you and not putting their own agenda on your treatment-unfortunately this happens so often. You just want to feel a natural sense of connection with someone you are sharing very vulnerable information with.”
“Number 1 is experience - have they seen dozens of people who are like *me* (how I think, my way of being) and can they apply different methods to help me make progress. Number 2 is if they are good listeners - do they show that they 'get' me and help me think and feel differently about what I'm going through and thinking about.”
“I try to find someone who uses evidence-based approaches, is trauma-informed, and displays the right balance of being directive and listening. Generally not a fan of ones who throw worksheets in my face to study.”
“The table stake traits/skills that I look for are whether they create a feeling of acceptance and safety. A basic human need is the feeling of belonging. This feeling needs to be established before the real work begins. Without it, you will not be able to be vulnerable and open enough to make material progress. That being said, the cliche is true: you get what you put into it.”
“Therapy can be extremely messy and emotionally charged. The ones that I've stuck with are the ones that will sit next to you in a dark place for as long as you need until you're ready to pull yourself out of it.”
“The weaker one (therapist) was on the opposite side of the spectrum - kind of unstructured didn't show she had the tools to guide, and fell back a lot on "well how does that make you feel…", which became basic and repetitive.”
“Forcing psychological modalities or methodologies due to interest of practitioner vs need of patient/client; I once had a therapist who loved applying EMDR and even when I expressed that it wasn't right for me after trying it for a few weeks with her, she kept pushing until I finally just changed therapists because it was making me anxious to actually go to the therapy.”
“Labeling you with something without working to deeply understand your experience. If they focus on pathologizing your personality or viewpoint too early and aggressively, that’s a red flag. It’s also not necessarily helpful if they pathologize or diagnose other people in your life. While it's true you may be encountering truly difficult people, having a therapist tell you your boss is a narcissist can end up being less than helpful.”
“Feeling like they have to refer to their notes in order to remember who I am or what I'm working on. One major reason I continue to see my therapist is she has an amazing memory for small things I mentioned many many sessions ago, and she doesn't (appear to) check her notes or rely on documents in order to "know me" or be ready to jump into a session with me. Other therapists I've seen in the past often do need to refer back to notes, as if they are trying to fill gaps in their knowledge of you so that the "answer" will appear. But when a therapist sticks to a natural conversation, asking questions in the moment rather than in a preformulated way, the conversation is memorable for them and feels easy for me.”
“I'm suspect of anyone who suggests medication solely without also suggesting therapy. I feel like this is often doctors managing their caseloads and not what a person actually needs.”
“I avoid therapists who don't go deep enough i.e., helping to 'rearrange the furniture in the room' approach vs a more fundamental change in seeing/being.”
“I once had a really bad first session with a therapist who had zero understanding of my cultural background, would make some offensive assumptions, and could not in any way pronounce my name correctly.”
“It is a red flag to me if they impose unsolicited strong opinions or steer me towards a decision (unless they foresee potential threat or harm).”
“If a therapist starts saying things like "this is not appropriate" or "you should/shouldn't do this" or any kind of moral judgment: run away. This is especially important because the deeper you can dig, the more effective the therapy will be, and if you self censure, you'll get less (or nothing) out of it.”
How do you evaluate a therapist?
I put together the following questionnaire based on my experience, suggestions from professionals, and from the experience shared with me by others. I’ve also created a publicly available Notion doc with this questionnaire in case you want to create a copy of your own or share it with others.
It’s not important that you ask a therapist every question on this list. Pick and choose the questions that you determine will lead to the most informed decision for your particular needs and circumstances.
What is your philosophy regarding building a relationship with a client?
What boundaries are the most important to a healthy therapeutic relationship?
Style & Approach
What therapy methods do you use, and why did you choose them?
What is your philosophy about therapy and mental health as a whole?
What is your perspective on the role or importance of clinical diagnoses?
What emerging or relatively unknown modalities are you an advocate of?
What are your qualifications?
Do you have any specialties or certifications that may be relevant to me?
Have you worked with any clients like me before?
What is the ideal type of client for you to work with?
Expectations & Requirements
What sort of commitment should I expect when working with you?
Would you recommend a long-term or short-to-midterm working relationship for us?
Are there other expectations you’d like to set with me before starting?
How do you find a therapist?
The top recommendation is to ask within your immediate network of people you know and trust. Over half of the people that I interviewed for this article indicated that they found their therapist via a referral.
Additionally, there are various tools on the internet that can be used to find a therapist.
One option is to use the search tools like from the American Psychological Association: https://locator.apa.org/.
Another option is the Open Path Psychotherapy Collective. It’s a nationwide network of mental health professionals who charge between $30 and $80 per session. Unlike more extensive mental health directories, this website only includes sliding scale therapists in the searchable database.
As was mentioned earlier in this article, there’s also been a recent explosion of various mental health-related apps that are helping bridge the accessibility gap. Thanks to sites like verywellmind.com, they’ve compiled lists of their recommended apps broken down by category.
Best Overall: Betterhelp
Runner Up, Best Overall: Talkspace
Best with Insurance: Cerebral
Best for Couples: ReGain
Best without Insurance: Wellnite
Best for the BIPOC Community: Ayana Therapy
Best for Flexible Scheduling: Amwell
Best for the LGBTQIA+ Community: Pride Counseling
Best for Psychiatry: Teladoc
Best for Group Therapy: Circles
Best for Addiction: Monument
Best for CBT Therapy: Online-Therapy.com
Best for Christians: Faithful Counseling
Prevention.com also has a list of the top 20 mental health apps to aid in your search.
Finding a quality therapist is challenging but worth it. To heal we must feel safe with whoever we work with. Without that feeling of trust and safety, healing can’t take place.
But, for practical reasons, we sometimes have to turn to the best therapist we can find that’s accessible and affordable. Thankfully, the technology industry is turning its sights towards mental health and is helping reduce costs while increasing access to quality therapy via telemedicine.
It may feel like speed dating at times, but with a quality list of questions, you can fast-track the process of sorting through the good vs not-so-good therapists.
I can attest that the juice is worth the squeeze. I wish you all happy hunting in search of finding your therapeutic partner in crime.
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